On My Heart: I am Yours & You are mine


These words have been on my heart. & Honestly, I don't lean on the Lord enough. This song says it all - If I keep my eyes on Him, He will carry me. His is mine & I am His. so amazing.

Have a darling weekend, friends!

emotional wreck.

Good afternoon pretties. I hope you all had a great weekend & that your Tuesday is off to a great start. I want to thank you all for all your comments last week -- they make me smile more than you all know! I have had a pretty crazy last few days & I am sorry that I haven't gotten a chance to respond, but I have not forgotten about them.

image via ashlyn

So like I said in the paragraph before my last few days have been kinda crazy. First & foremost, the most saddening news of it all is that my Granny was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last week. I was in absolute shock when I found out on Thursday -- I didn't even call her right away to check on her because I didn't want to add on to her emotion. My Granny is a special woman -- she is that person that I would bawl my eyes out every time we were separated. & she is even the Granny that gets on my last nerve, but I love her deeply. Lately, I have gotten a lot closer to her & we usually talk on a weekly basis. I am not even totally sure how to put how I a feeling into words & I am sure that this post is all over the place with how I feel. I do know that my heart is torn apart & I am an emotional wreck. She went to the doctor today to find out what Stage it is at, but I have yet to find out. I am praying that they caught it soon & that it will be simple treatment.

On another note, I got in a car wreck on Friday night on my way to see Nick. It was not an extremely terrible accident but it did put a damper on the start of the weekend. It was  a 4 car accident -- I was hit by a guy {that drove off} which caused me to hit a lady in front of me who hit someone else. I was the only car with the damage -- my hood went under the car in front of me. My car was driveable but it def was not safe to drive back to Norfolk for school today -- so I had to pick up a rental. My car is nothing extra-special, it is just a 1999 Honda Accord, but if the damage exceeds half of what the car is worth then they will total my car -- meaning I would have to search for a new one. This is where my anxiety starts to skyrocket because I don't have the time or money to buy a new car & I also would need a cosigner. & as of right now my parents don't really want to cosign since my brother is starting college in the Fall & my parents will have to cosign for a lot of his college loans. 

These two things have caused me to be all over the place.
I just keep reminding myself that God is in control & that He will be there for me.

xoxo. ashlyn

if you can't change it, change your attitude. don't complain.

I am pretty sure that I do a lot complaining -- whether I verbalize it or not. & I am also pretty sure that it isn't very healthy. I think people see me as a pretty happy person, or so I hope. But deep down inside I am just really unhappy with the ways things are sometimes. Maybe I expect to much from myself, from others, and just life in general. & I really want to change that.

Now as this picture -- it made me laugh because it is soooo true. I'm sure we all do it! :]
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I saw this quote below in today's -- The Daily Love email. I always love reading the quotes especially because well I {love} quotes & I love how they just make complete sense to me. I mean sometimes I wish I could put my life into quotes or lyrics for that matter. 
"Complaining continues to create the vibration of what you don't want. Today, take your focus off of what is wrong and focus on what is right and how you desire things to be. Put all your love, energy, mental power and decision making towards what you want and do not entertain thoughts that are to the contrary. You are MORE responsible for the way you feel than your environment, circumstances or relationships. Step towards Love today, step towards the solution." - Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath. 
Depending on what is going on in your life & your current mentality cancan affect how you interpret things -- & for me this quote opened my eyes to see that I need to complain less!! 

I am really just 100% DONE with being unhappy with whatever life brings my way. I am the kind of person that likes to be in control, I admit that I take after my mother.  I am the one to likes to plan things out & if things change sometimes I have a hard time grasping why, even if I try really hard. I am the kind of person who wants to know why someone doesn't like me & then I want to fix it. I am the one who doesn't like not knowing how things are going to turn out. 
 -- some situations that I have a hard time with are ones that I have NO control over
// like its says in the quote "environment, circumstances, and relationships." --> YEAH IT SPEAKS ASHLYN FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS!!
BUT I DO HAVE CONTROL OVER MY REACTIONS. 
which is key to being happy. i have the choice to not let something affect me negatively. i have the choice to not let something eat me up inside so much that it consumes me. i have the choice to take a negative situation & look at the small blessings that have come out of it. i have the choice to smile when someone hurts me. i have the choice to -- 

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There are so many areas of my life that I want to have full control over, but I can't because it just isn't possible.  Then there are others that I can have control over -- such as getting into shape, surrounding myself with healthy friendships, cooking more, spending less money.
     I AM IN CONTROL OF THESE. I choose to either do them or not.


A few words of wisdom:
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if you are going to take anything away from this --