in my head of course //

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For the many of you who have been reading my blog you may have noticed that I haven't really been posting too many personal posts lately. & there truly is a reason for it. I am currently in grad school at Eastern Virginia Medical School in their Physician Assistant Program. I started the program last January & am currently in my third semester, which is soooo hard to believe.  Life is so crazy right now that I am extremely stressed because I never get a moment to catch up. I am literally going strong every moment of the day. Classes start around 9am - 3/4pm Monday - Friday. I have exams everyone Tuesday & Thursday at 8 am & a practical thrown in there some of the other days. It really is never ending. When I got into the program I had the entire 27 months planned out in my head --

THIS WAS THE PLAN {in my head of course}:**
  • Nick & I were going to take turns seeing each other every other week
  • skype would be awesome to the max ALL THE TIME.
  • Studying would be a piece of cake
  • By the third semester I would have the swing of things & time would fly by
  • I would have lots of new friends in the program, ones that could potentially become best friends 
  • Nick & I would communicate better & tell each other every little waking detail of the day
  • Join a gym & go on a regular basis to relieve stress & to of course get in shape
  • Go grocery shopping every other week with a budget of $200 a month
  • Have better time management -- aka: write everything down & actually do it
  • Go to all the hockey games that I could go to -- no matter what
  • Learn to have patience
  • Smile more
  • Laugh more
  • Be more open
  • Appreciate the little things
  • Learn to be a better communicator
  • Listen more, talk less.**personal opinion that these were not achieved.
Now I'm not saying that I haven't done some of these things, but def. not to the ability that I had planned {in my head of course}. School is way harder than I thought it was going to be & takes up 99.9% of my time. I usually go to bed around 1:30-2am & wake up around 630/7 on average. I never sleep through the night -- either I am too cold, restless, or stress about the fact that I should be studying & not sleeping, therefore I don't sleep & I don't study {not such a good combo. lol} This makes me irritable, impatience, less happy. I cry more -- want to sleep more & don't have nearly enough joy as I should. 

I haven't been to the gym since March, well maybe once or twice since then, but not nearly what I had planned {in my head of course}. I have TERRIBLE time management -- I procrastinate like it is my full-time job. I spend hours on the computer & less time studying in advance like I should, & you would think that by already making it through two semesters I would have this whole studying/time management thing down, well I don't. ha

 I get upset with Nick over the dumbest things -- & when I say dumb, I mean reeeaaallll dumb. So dumb that while I am upset & were arguing I am trying really hard to pretend that I am right & in my head I keep telling myself how stupid I am for even getting mad or upset with him. This is not an every day occurrence, but he truly deserves better than this. WAY BETTER.

THIS WAS THE {NEW} PLAN {in my head of course}:

"BE HAPPY!!!!! Life isn't perfect. It isn't going to always go the way I have it planned. I just have to learn to smile. Go with the flow. Learn to Thank God for what He has given me & stop asking for what I deserve. Learn to Praise Him for my good health, my amazing family, my unconditionally loving boyfriend, my true friends, my education, my ability to learn, these beautiful Fall days, this LIFE I get to live! I am more blessed then I will ever know. & it is time to start realizing that. NOW. not tomorrow. but today, right this minute."

This Quote speaks MILLIONS. I just LOVE it! I encourage you too --

image via {pinterest}

What do you keep planning {in your head of course} that aren't getting accomplished? What do you do to help you learn to appreciate the good in Life?

I encourage you too give yourself the credit you deserve & take each day & live it fully. Don't set ALL these plans in your head & not do them. But actually work towards them but do it with grace & passion. Learn to be happy for you who you are & love what you have been given by the Lord. 

Psalm 9:1 NIV //I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders.