ON MY HEART


I have been slacking lately in SO many areas of my life. Whether it be with school, blogging, friendships,  my relationship with the Lord, myself & honestly just relationships in general. I am so disappointed with myself that I just need(ed) to take some time away from everything.

This blog use to be a place that I would come & talk about personal areas of my life, along with things I love & what inspires me. It was a place for me to share my inner creative being with the world without being judged. There are a million an one things going on in my life right now that I just can not share with the world, but just know that my days are far from perfect. Some days I just cry for no reason & others I am happy as a clam. Lately, I have just wanted to lay in bed & do absolutely nothing but watch LMN + take naps. I don't even feel like talking to anyone. This makes me sad.

I am SO unbelievably hard on myself & some days it is just way to much for me to handle.  Sometimes it comes in waves & I just wish I could be 100% content with what life has brought my way. Everyone says "everything happens for a reason" + I really do believe that, but sometimes believing it & actually understanding what that means are two entirely different things. I keep wanting more + I never seem to be content with what I have. I long for a normal life -- but what is normal anymore?  

To me normal is having living in the same area as my boyfriend, going to brunch with my girlfriends on the weekends without being stressed out about studying for school, & sleeping in on Sunday with zero guilt. Normal is going to work to make a living, come home to make dinner, & relax the rest of the evening. Normal is having a home (or apartment) that I can decorate & enjoy being in. Normal is ... being happy. I really want that more than anything & right now I am digging really deep to figure out what is missing.

I am so blessed to have met so many wonderful people through blogging & I could not be more thankful. So many of you know everything that is going on in my life + I want to thank-you for being there for me when I need you most. The simple emails, text messages, or twitter messages that I get from you all bring smiles to my heart daily + I am so very grateful. & to all of you who read my blog on a daily basis - thank-you so much for all the support you have given me -- I honestly could not do it without you all. 

I am not sure how long I will be away from blogging -- probably just the rest of the week & maybe a little into next week (until all of my exams are over). & I  may pop in before that :) So be sure to stop back by & if any one would be interested in doing a guest post I would love that -- email me at ashlyn@letitbebeautiful.com

xxa