Looking back on 2012, well let's just say that it was a tough year for me. I learned a lot about myself & what I want, & that is to ultimately be H A P P Y. Happiness is a feeling, but finding true J O Y is pure happiness. I have realized that JOY is learning to be content with what I have & not wanting what others have -- or thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Hey twenty-thirteen! Guess what? I have a feeling this is going to be our year. I can feel it!
Twenty-thirteen, at times you scared me but now I am excited about what lies ahead of me. There is a light at the end of the tunnel -- full of sparkles, champagne, & a HEY YOU DID IT sign! :]
You know I have a hard time with change but we can do this. In a couple months you will be taking a giant step & moving up to DC to be closer to the one person you have been apart from for the last two years. That will be the test of time -- leaving your routine, your family, your best friends & the life you have had to start a new routine + life with him. There will be ups + downs. You will get frustrated. You will miss your family. & most of all you will have to learn to be less selfish with your time & learn to LOVE & be loved unconditionally. I believe in us. I believe that we will make it through.
May twenty-thirteen. There is a special date marked in my calendar -- one that I have been dreaming about for the last 24 months. A day that I have worked so hard to reach. It is hard to believe that I will be walking across the stage with a giant smile on my face & think to myself "you did it girl!" all to trade in my short white-coat for my long one. That white-coat symbolizes everything I have done up to that point to be the best Physicians Assistant I could possibly be. I will receive a beautiful diploma with gold lettering that I will stare at in awe while tears of joy stream down my face. I will get to spend this wonderful day with all my family & friends who have supported me along this tough journey, the one which in the beginning seemed so far away.
In twenty-thirteen you will ROCK your AAPA Exam. & You will get job offers -- some you wish you didn't have to turn down & others that just aren't suited for you. But you WILL get the job you have been dreaming of, be patient & it will surprise you when you least expect it :] oh & btw you will be nervous for months after you start working because of how much pressure you put on yourself to give your patients the most prestige care. oh & now this whole diagnosing & treating your patients thing becomes a reality, but you got it! ;]
This year, you will learn who your real friends are. The ones who love you unconditionally -- no matter your flaws. You will learn to be less judgmental & more selfless. You will learn to love yourself unconditionally. & more importantly you will learn to love God unconditionally & make Him the center of your every day. He holds the answers to all your unanswered questions.
This year you will act on your creative ambitions & follow your heart, even if others think that it is silly -- because only you know what makes you truly happy. Just do it love.
At one point you may start to second guess your decisions or choices you have made up to that point, but just know that your mistakes are learning experiences & they will only make you a better person. Remember to think with your heart (not your over-analyzing head of yours! ha)!
Before I say goodbye just know that you are one-of-a-kind & THIS year is your year sweet girl. Twenty-thirteen is full of gorgeous moments that will take you by surprise. You will figure out who you are & what you want to be become. You will figure out what JOY means, you just wait & see.